Monday, December 20, 2010

The Residue of Dreams

I sometimes awaken with the residue of dreams still on my mind. Not just a memory of events that have transpired in my sleep, but the electrified thought of an idea, a concept, a flash of insight obtained in the dreamy darkness of unconsciousness.

I woke up this morning with this pervading notion that everything I've ever thought, felt, sensed, and experienced is recorded in a file located in my body/brain/consciousness, what is referred to as 'the unconscious'. I woke up not just knowing of it as a theory, but knowing it as an experienced reality, and indisputable truth. As if I explored the physical location of this file in my sleep, got a glimpse of some of its contents, but upon waking only a distant dreamlike fading memory remained.

In other words, I was dreaming about this, and woke up thinking about it.

If only I knew the password, the key to tap into this stored knowledge at will, to be able to return to the memory of any moment in my life, with the exact precision of seeing it unfold frame by frame on a movie screen. Most interesting of all, I think would be to return to the moment of birth, the moment whenever consciousness first arises, whether it begins in the womb, or later after birth, and if so when exactly.

I have very little memory prior to the age of four, but somehow or another, I have this vague memory of understanding English long before I knew how to speak. That as an infant, perhaps even as a newborn, maybe even in the womb itself, I could understand everything spoken around me. And that I also have this foggy memory of not only understanding the meaning of language prior to being able to communicate this understanding, but also being able to sense people's feelings and internal emotional states as clearly as the spoken word.

That for a short period of time during the first years of my life, prior to the age of speech and reason, I was able to tap into this non-verbal language, a language far more powerful than words alone, a sort of direct telepathic perception of thoughts and feelings. I have a vague memory of this that I have carried with me all this time going back to the earliest years of my life. But as I get older, and my memory of these earliest events become cloudier and less vibrant with each passing year, it's hard to say how much of this is actual memory, and how much of it is imagination...but whether it was fact or fancy, I do have a memory of experiencing it.

I sometimes have dreams like this, teaching dreams, dreams of insight, where I wake up with an idea learned directly from my dream. Been awhile though, but I just had to write it down. It reminded me of my dad's near death experience, as recollected to me in my childhood. Where he saw his entire life flash before his eyes, like a reel of film played back in fast forward, having recorded every single moment of his life from birth to death. That's what he said, that the whole story of your life is like a ribbon of film, whereupon everything is permanently recorded without exception.

When you get to the end there is nowhere to hide, no lies to conceal the deeds of your life, all is recorded, every thought, feeling, spoken and written word, every action and experience is an unerasable truth, permanently etched in the conscience of your heart, to be weighed at the end of your life, to determine where you go from there. Heaven or hell? Evolution or devolution? Another planet? Another dimension? Another incarnation, as human, animal, or something higher and more evolved? Who knows.

The first Law of thermodynamics states that "energy can neither be created or destroyed. It can only change forms."

Something tells me that insight into the mysteries of life and death, creation and destruction, transformation and reincarnation, can be partially apprehended from a scientific point of view, through close and careful study and intuitive contemplation of these Laws of Thermodynamics.

Monday, December 13, 2010

As I Am Today


I had a good walk today down by the wash. After having a few weeks of extremely cold weather (at least by Arizona standards) we're now having a heatwave. It was 80 degrees today, making southern Arizona the current hotspot in the country. It was awesome. If only it were 80 degrees all year round I would be very happy. The 100s I could live without, same with the 90s, but I'd say that 80 is about right.

I need to walk more. It's very therapeutic for me, not just for the physical exercise, but for its mental benefits - it grounds me, relaxes me, makes my thinking clearer, sharper, more focused and refined; and it improves my overall mood, making me feel ten times better than before.

I found this great spot down in the wash, that I'd never been to before, a sort of oasis of trees in the sand. I'll have to return there again. It was very quiet and peaceful there. All I could hear were a few birds, and leaves rustling in the wind, intermingled with momentary periods of absolute silence.

Outward silence, is conducive to inner silence. The quieter it is outside, the more you can hear yourself think, and the sharper your awareness becomes to self and surroundings. I was alone. I know it's more dangerous hiking alone, but I prefer it. I don't like to talk while I walk. I look upon walking as a moving meditation, and speech disturbs the peace of the moment, so I prefer walking alone.

I've had no problems with people so far, but I am armed with pepper spray and a walking stick just in case. My main fear is encountering wild dogs and venomous snakes; and also the thoughts of stumbling upon a patch of quicksand are always lingering in my mind as well, especially down by the wash (which in case you didn't know, is a dry riverbed) - just the sort of a place where quicksand has been known to occur - but so far, so good, no problems as of yet.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Nature Solitude

I find it very therapeutic to spend at least a few minutes outside everyday, just listening and observing nature, without uttering a single sound.

No talking, no conversation, just listening to the sounds of nature, and observing whatever is within your field of space, be it a leaf, a flower, a rock, a bug, the birds, the trees, the sky. Just spend some time with it, taking note of everything, soaking it all in, noticing what thoughts and feelings it triggers. Therein lies the fruits of nature's inspiration.

Observing nature without speaking is important, because when you are speaking you are not listening. It's good to take a break from human speech from time to time, and the same can be said of the intrusive noise of machines, take a break whenever you can.

That's the one thing I dislike the most about computers, is the noise they make, that annoying hum, it surely must have some kind of subconscious influence on your bodies brainwaves and biorhythms. There's got to be a study somewhere on it, if not, there should be.

I try to sit outside in silence in a mindful eyes-wide-open meditation of nature on a daily basis. Sometimes it's hard for me to find some peace and quiet. The people I live with talk incessantly, sometimes I have to wear earplugs just to get a bit of peace of quiet around the house. Which is another reason why I often stay up well past midnight, because its the only time when the house is quiet.

In order to be able to hear more clearly my own inner voice of wisdom and intuitive insight, I have a profound need for solitude, silence and nature. We all have access to intuitive insight, it's our birthright. Problem is, many people out of habit and distraction, have conditioned themselves to block it out, to such an extent, that this ability calcifies and the connection is lost.

There are all kinds of distractions in our world that interfere with psychic perception. To me, the sound of machines, especially those of an electrical nature, create a sort of artificial fog, made up of noise pollution and electromagnetic fields, that interfere with and obscures our capacity for intuitive insight.

Of course machines and computers have their useful purpose, but their usefulness comes at a price to our health.

How many people look closely into the depths of their soul, the depths of their heart, the depths of their mind? How many people spend hours of the night looking up at the night time sky without naming what they see, just simply observing it as if it were the first time they beheld it, having no preconceived notion of what lies out there, just looking, listening, and feeling the star filled sky with your eyes?

There are many benefits to be gained from this. Inspiration. Clarity of Vision. Insight. Foresight. Depth of Perspective.

When two objects meet, there is an instant communication, an exchange of energies. When you look up at the sky, in a way, the sky is also looking back down at you. Everybody is communicating with everyone and everything they encounter, even if there is no exchange of words, or direct touch, whatever your senses apprehend there is a mutual exchange of communication occurring.

So make it a point to spend some time alone with nature, listening without speaking, observing without teaching, soaking in the psychic healing, that comes from tuning in and realigning yourself with the resonance of the earth and the sky.